How to last longer in bed has to be one of the longest-standing questions in human history. Performance anxiety and premature ejaculation are top of the list when it comes to confidence between the sheets. There is nothing more frustrating than building up to the big event, and boom, it's all over in a few seconds. What makes it so annoying is that the harder you try to slow things down, the faster things seem to happen, lying there thinking of other things like putting the garbage out just makes it worse.
Premature ejaculation (P.E.) is where the male ejaculates too quickly during sexual intercourse. The standard definition of P.E. is reaching the point of ejaculation in less than 60 seconds.
A study of 500 couples from 5 different countries discovered the average time taken to ejaculate during intercourse in five and a half minutes. The 'normal' time taken to reach orgasm for a man has no actual definition. It is up to individuals to decide whether they are happy with how long things take; however, this is not always in your control. Everybody at some point will 'come' too quickly, which is not a big problem, but if you find it happening more than half the time, you may want to seek help and do something about it.
If you are unhappy with your staying power, remember you are not alone, most guys want to last longer, and most guys won't admit that they can't. Unfortunately there is no cure-all for premature ejaculation in men, but there are plenty of things guys can do to up their stamina and keep going that little bit longer in bed!
The average time for a man to ejaculate is around 5 minutes, so if someone brags saying they can last for ages, don't worry, they are most probably lying!
Pelvic Floor Exercises for More Sexual Control
Stand in front of a mirror while naked and try and lift your testicles without touching them. The muscles you use for this are called your pubococcygeal or P.C. muscles (aka pelvic floor). Or when having a pee, try and stop and start the flow, again, this is your P.C. muscles at work.
By gaining control and strengthening your P.C. muscles, most men can completely cure premature ejaculation. In one study, 40 guys with lifelong premature ejaculation issues undertook P.C. rehabilitation exercises, and the findings were pretty conclusive. All 40 men had a baseline intravaginal ejaculatory latency time of 1 minute. After this 12-week study, 82.5% of them had regained control of their ejaculation times.
P.C. rehabilitation is also proven to help men with Erectile dysfunction. In a study to examine if pelvic floor exercises can restore erectile function in men, they had remarkably encouraging results. A group of 55 men was given pelvic floor exercises by a physiotherapist, lifestyle advice (intervention group), or just lifestyle advice (control group). After three months, all the men underwent testing, and the intervention group had significantly improved erectile function than the control group. Both groups followed the same exercise plan; after six months, the assessment showed that 40% of men in both groups had regained normal erectile function, 35.5% improved, and 24.5% failed to improve.
So, the evidence is pretty conclusive that Kegels (pelvic floor exercises) is a perfect starting point for lasting longer in bed. How to last longer in bed? Strengthen your pubococcygeal muscles!
Don't Drink to Excess.
'Brewer's droop' or 'whiskey dick' as it is also known is a common cause of guys failing to perform. Alcohol dilates your blood vessels meaning blood flows around your body more efficiently. Hoorah, I hear you say, more blood equals bigger erections! No, Wider vessels mean that blood can flow freely into the penis, but it flows just as quickly out again, giving you brewer's droop. Most men find a few drinks do not affect the ability to gain an erection, lightens the mood, and make things a little more relaxed.
In truth, though, alcohol is a depressant, and too much will dampen the mood, kill your libido (and your partners) and make it difficult to achieve an erection. This doesn't mean you have to cut out alcohol totally; most experts advise drinking in moderation for your health in general.
According to the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (C.D.C.), you should not have more than two alcoholic drinks a day for men (and one drink a day for women). Your liver can only process and break down at about the rate of one unit per hour. So, if you drink heavily over long periods, alcohol builds up in your system and damages your body and sexual organs.
Alcohol and depression and inextricably linked. Drinking alcohol releases endorphins (pleasure hormones) that bind to opiate receptors in the brain, making you feel good. Unfortunately for those who drink even just moderately, alcohol causes shrinkage to areas of the brain that deal with cognitive ability and learning, interrupting signals between the brain and sexual organs.
As well as damaging to your brain, liver, pancreas, nervous system, and heart, alcohol plays havoc with your mental health. Specifically, it can lead to low mood and worsen any preexisting mental health issues you may have. By using alcohol to 'drown your sorrows' often buries issues deeper unless addressed.
Alcohol also can decrease testosterone levels interfering with hormone synthesis. It also increases visceral fat, which also reduces testosterone production. Many men find that by optimizing their testosterone levels, not only increases libido, but also they get bigger, harder erections and the stamina of a twenty-year-old guy in bed!
When you consider alcohol's powerful effect on your mind, body, and soul, it is pretty plain to see how it can adversely impact your sex life. So, how to last longer in bed? Don't drink too much!
Smoking Causes Erectile Dysfunction
It is hardly surprising that smoking is one of the biggest causes of erectile dysfunction. Smoking is the single greatest cause of death and disease in the world. Studies report chronic smokers are 1.5 to 2-timers more likely than nonsmokers to report E.D. Importantly, studies also show that quitting smoking, especially in younger men, has a hugely positive impact on sexual health.
Cigarette smoke severely damages your cardiovascular system, and erectile function relies on a healthy vascular system. Smoking reduces your HDL (good cholesterol) and increases your LDL (bad cholesterol). It also raises your total cholesterol and triglycerides (lipids), which are fatty deposits in your blood system.
Smoking also constricts your blood vessels making it more challenging to gain an erection. High blood pressure, increased bad cholesterol, and damage to the heart is devastating to your sexual health; without good blood, flow you will simply struggle to get it up.
Giving up smoking has huge benefits for your general and sexual health. Younger guys, in particular, who put enormous importance on their sexual vigor and prowess, will benefit from improved cardiovascular health. Men will achieve erections easier, the increased blood flow will help them gain harder erections, and they will have more energy, feel significantly better all benefits. How to last longer in bed? Give up smoking!
In general, over half of men aged 40 and over will experience some form of E.D. Smokers are far more likely to develop E.D. irrelevant of age and other conditions they may have. Countless studies and reports support the claim that smoking can cause E.D. Smoking disrupts the nitric oxide (NO) pathways around the body. NO is a vasodilator released into the blood, causing vessels to widen, increasing blood flow, and lowering blood pressure. Without this vital chemical compound, you simply cannot get an erection, yet another reason to quit smoking!
Masturbate in Advance
One sure-fire way to last longer in bed is to masturbate an hour or two before sex. Masturbation is completely normal and can help you train yourself to delay things.
One effective method is just before ejaculation to gently squeeze the penis just below the 'head' for 10 - 20 seconds, then carry on. Practice the stop and start method (edging), taking a deep breath before continuing, this will help delay ejaculation. This method can be incredibly useful, and with practice, you can regain a significant degree of control and last longer in bed!
PE Creams, Sprays, and Wipes
For those who want to last longer in bed, it can be incredibly frustrating for both partners if things come to an end too quickly. Premature Ejaculation is estimated to affect up to 39% of all men, and studies into anesthetic creams, sprays and wipes show them to have the potential to transform men's staying power.
Lidocaine and benzocaine are both local anesthetics used to 'locally' numb areas of the body to relieve pain or for minor surgical procedures. For the treatment of P.E., they are available in creams, wipes, and sprays. Some condom companies use small amounts inside their products to help desensitize the penis enough to delay ejaculation.
These products are applied directly to the sensitive areas of the penis and can start working within 5 minutes. There is an increasing number of studies claiming that P.E. wipes, creams, and sprays can significantly increase the time from erection to ejaculation, meaning you will last longer in bed. This type of anesthetic P.E. treatment is generally very safe to use, and usually, people do not suffer any severe side effects.
Mild side effects can include mild irritation, rash, and itching; this can occur in either the man or woman unless using a condom. Please take extra precautions if using P.E. creams, sprays, and wipes with condoms. They can weaken the material exposing you and your partner to potential sexually transmitted diseases and unwanted pregnancy. These treatments can cause desensitization for your partner as well unless washed off before intercourse.
Try to use the smallest amount you can to gain desensitization to avoid unwanted side effects. Importantly only use this treatment as directed; there are cases where people have used them for pain relief and cosmetic procedures using far too high a dose. Overuse can cause a potentially life-threatening condition called methemoglobinemia.
Methemoglobinemia is a rare disorder where too little oxygen reaches your blood cells. The condition can come on quickly and can cause headaches, shortness of breath, nausea, rapid heart rate, fatigue, confusion, and loss of consciousness.
Drugs Can Cause Erectile Dysfunction
It is not only alcohol that can cause things to flop, recreational drugs, and some prescription drugs can also impact your ability to gain an erection. Drugs such as cocaine, marijuana, opiates, barbiturates, MDMA, LSD, and amphetamines all can contribute to erectile dysfunction. However, some people find the opposite and find the experience more intimate and find the experience enhanced by such drugs. So, if you want to last longer in bed, our advice would be to steer clear of illegal drugs!
Prescribed Medication for Sexual Dysfunction.
There are several prescription drugs that doctors can use to combat P.E. and E.D. and help you last longer in bed.
- Antidepressants. Some antidepressants have the side effect of delaying orgasm. SSRI's such as escitalopram (Lexapro), fluoxetine (Prozac), sertraline (Zoloft), or paroxetine (Paxil). If SSRIs do not improve, things don't help you last longer; your doctor may prescribe the tricyclic antidepressant clomipramine (Anafranil). Side effects of all these antidepressant medications can include finding it harder to ejaculate, decreased libido, nausea, and tiredness.
- Analgesics. Tramadol (Ultram) is a powerful pain medication. It also has side effects that delay ejaculation, and some doctors recommend it off -label to treat P.E. Side effects might include nausea, headaches, sleepiness, and dizziness. Do not take Tramadol and SSRI's at the same time.
- Phosphodiesterase-5 inhibitors. These are a group of medications prescribed by doctors to treat E.D. Some men find that Sildenafil (Viagra®) or Tadalafil (Cialis®) help premature ejaculation. Side effects might include headache, facial flushing, and indigestion. Phosphodiesterase-5 inhibitors and SSRIs can be used together for maximum impact.
Sildenafil (Viagra®) and Tadalafil (Cialis®) can both help you recover faster after ejaculation. Why not give it a try!
Exercise for Better Sex
There are countless reasons why keeping fit will help improve your entire sex life and help you last longer in bed.
Exercise Makes You Feel Good.
Body image plays a huge role in how attractive we are to our partners and how you see yourself. Being more confident within yourself will undoubtedly lead to being comfortable when you are naked. Furthermore, being self-assured is commonly a powerful aphrodisiac for your partner. Who doesn't like a bit of confidence?
To put it simply, exercising and being physically fit enhance your attractiveness, and increase energy levels. In one study, they discovered those who exercise 2 to 3 days per week had overall higher self-esteem. 80% of male participants and nearly 60% of females rated themselves as above average or considerably above average in sexual desirability.
Exercise Releases Endorphins (so does sex!)
Every time you exercise, your body releases endorphins, which (along with other hormones such as oxytocin) make you feel good. Those who exercise (and have sex) regularly will be aware of 'runners high,' which is caused by the release of hormones. This feeling becomes addictive, and the more frequently you exercise and have sex, the easier it becomes to go for longer and become aroused. The link between sexual satisfaction and fitness applies to both men and women, so dust off those jogging shoes, grab your partner, and go for a run!
Exercise Reduces Erectile Dysfunction
Poor heart health and circulation issues will cause erectile dysfunction. For an erection to occur, the penis must swell with blood, so blocked arteries, high blood pressure, and poor cardiovascular health will certainly not help matters. Exercise keeps the heart pumping healthily, reduces visceral fat, and lowers cholesterol, reducing the risk of erectile dysfunction.
How to last longer in bed? Exercise!
Eat Well For Longer Lasting Sex
A healthy diet is imperative to last longer in bed and for all-around general health; there is no point in exercising to improve your sex life if you live on fast food and pre-packaged junk. Eating well is pretty simple; however, convenience and the fast pace of modern life make it all too easy to order a pizza or open a packet.
The best thing you can do for your body is to eat fresh homemade food. Fruit and vegetables are nature's fast food, usually coming in its own packaging, you are simply a peel away from a healthy snack. Vegetables, salad, pulses, rice, and grains are easy to prepare and take very little preparation. Fresh fish is quick to cook and readily available.
You should limit the consumption of animal products, including meat, cheese, butter, and cream. Cholesterol does not exist in the plant world, so by reducing your animal intake, your bad cholesterol will start to lower. Along with exercise, your cardiovascular health will begin to improve. Remember, a better heart and lungs mean better erections!
So, if you want to last longer in bed, look after yourself. With a combination of making the right lifestyle choices, strengthening your pelvic floor, and if necessary, using medicines, men can undoubtedly increase staying power and delay their ejaculation time.
Disclaimer: The information provided on this page is not a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you have any questions or concerns about your health, please consult a doctor.